You made the commitment and hired a coach and you want to get maximum results from your sessions.  Your  sessions will most likely be anywhere from thirty minutes to one hour at various fees depending on your niche and other factors (honestly the answer when it comes to rates is “It depends”) Prior to your first session, your coach will probably send an intake package to learn more about you and where you are today in relation to your goals.  Some may ask you to take one or more assessments to help both of you gain greater insights into  your personality, values, motivators,  communication and spiritual journey.

In preparation for the weekly session, most coaches use a weekly prep form. I use a form regularly with my clients and it is simple and to the point. I keep it simple and basically  want the answer to 3 questions.   I ask 1) what went well the past week 2) where you had challenges  and 3) where you want to focus the time on our upcoming session.   Remember, you (the client) set the agenda so be specific on where you want to focus.   Spend a few minutes of quiet time prior to each session and come prepared.

Coaching is a lot about change and forward movement.  Your coach will partner with you, ask lots of powerful discovery questions, even challenge you as needed.  Your coach will help you develop support structures and accountability and sometimes make requests for you to take specific actions.   If you say yes to a request, get into the habit to follow through on your commitments to get the most of the coaching relationship.  If you know you will not be able to meet the request, be open and honest with your coach.  You hired a coach to get maximum results that you have not been able to accomplish on your own.  Be prepared to be challenged.  Your coach wants the best for you, and wants you to be successful. It ‘s about YOU, not the coach so be true to yourself.

Your coach will ask you for feedback along the way and I encourage you to give feedback on what is working for you in the coach relationship, and what isn’t working for you. Sometimes you may find that you work well with a coach and the relationship may last months or even longer.   This is a partnership and when it works well, be prepared to see major positive changes take place.  Celebrate with your coach the milestones along the way.

How have you worked in a coaching relationships as a coach or as a client? What worked well?  What didn’t work well?

When working with corporate coaches who mainly coach employees for  performance improvement, one of the first myths to address is “coaching is giving feedback”.  Not!   Feedback is only part of the process in coaching for performance.

A frequently asked question is “How can you simplify the process of giving feedback?”

I suggest the following easy 4 steps:

1. Ask for permission to give feedback.  (ex. John, may I talk with you about the meeting this morning?” ) Yes, you read correctly. I suggest you ask the employee if you can speak with him about the situation. And what if the employee says no?  Well, asking permission lets the employee know up front that you have feedback and if you consistently ask, whether it is constructive or positive, this builds trust between you and the employee.  If the only time you ask to give feedback is when it is constructive, then you are right, the employee is going to think “oh here we go again – always something negative”.   Ask consistently and build a trusting relationship. And, it is ok if the employee says “now is not a good time” because you can let them know there needs to be time set aside, and you can respect that now may not be the best time. Follow up with,  “when will be a good time, this is important.”  Get it on the calendar.

2.  Describe the employee behavior, whether positive or constructive. For example, “From my observation, John, when you posted the powerpoint on the resource page, you (fill in the blank – describe what employee did)

3. Describe the impact (did it have a negative or positive impact). In one or two sentences, no need to go on and on. Make your point.

4.  Either ask for response or encourage to continue.

If constructive:  Ask for a response and then be silent – let the employee respond ( ex. How can you approach it differently next time?) If positive feedback,  then simply encourage the behavior to continue  (I appreciate the extra time. Thank you) And, remember all constructive feedback should be given in private and that goes for the corporate world or in a family situation,  like giving feedback to your children.   Keep the constructive feedback focused on solutions and not the person.

If positive: Positive feedback, on the other hand, is very acceptable in public,  a pat on the back is always good to hear among a peer group.  Yet, some still prefer to receive positive feedback in private.  Not all employees are equal in how they receive praise.. get to know each employee .. if in doubt, ask.  Oh, and for the DISC fans out there, if you are a manager of parent of a High I, they love to receive appreciation in public.  In fact, it is one of the best ways to motivate a High I…. appreciation.

Stay tuned for future article on how to receive feedback.

My dear Grandma Clara was a bit of a Christian Life Coach and never knew it. She had the gift of knowing how to ask a wonderful, thought provoking question and then resting in silence, allowing a 12 year old to discover. I was a chatty child and so many times, I remember how she would gently lean down into my face and take hold of both my ears, and squatting down at face level, she would say so softly, “Janice, God gave you two ears and one mouth, and He intends for you to listen twice as much as you talk.” Oh, such a wise and gentle spirited woman. Thank you, Grandma Clara!

Good coaching is comfortable with silence, giving the client time to reflect and respond which is a critical skill for coaches to master. There is no need to jump in thinking you are helping. Some of the most powerful moments in coaching take place in the silence. It is here that a client reflects, processes, discovers, and has many aha moments. There are golden moments when a coach can hear more than the words spoken for the power is behind the words that remain unspoken.  Most importantly, it is in these moments of silence and reflection that our role is to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in the client and this is between the client and the Holy Spirit.  ….. “Peace, Be Still and know that I am God…”

As an IAC Licensed Coaching Masteries School, we train our students to give full attention to the words, nuances, and the unspoken meaning of our client’s communication.

What is your client saying in the silence? How are you coaching in the silence?

Most of us begin each day with a long list of tasks on our “to do” list, all of them calling our name. And, most likely the list is in both our personal and our professional life. It is a common request among coaching clients to ask for support in how to get re-focused and create boundaries and get more done in their day. With so many demands, one can easily feel overwhelmed and lost focus on the big picture.

How many times have you looked back at the end of the day, wondering what was accomplished?

Let’s look at a few ways to get re-focused, and back on track today. And, do it again tomorrow until new habits are formed.

Tips to refocus and re- energize to feel accomplished at the end of today:

1. Eliminate the distractions. Get rid of the barriers that are causing you to avoid getting things done – it’s that simple! Forget about checking email every five minutes; those emails will still be there when you complete your task. Make a list of the distractions, and eliminate them. Here are a few most of us can relate to:

• Set all phones, (yes that includes your smart phone) on silent for a while and give yourself permission to let voice mail take over
• Close the blinds in your office if you find the outdoors distracting you
• Turn off the radio, stock market reports, tv
• If you are not on the computer, turn off all the bells and whistles and turfn away from the monitor and try to avoid looking at the screen until the task at hand is completed
• Temporarily close the door to your office to allow for privacy and reduce the number of “drop ins”. Sometimes, you may also want to hang a friendly note on the door asking not to be disturbed and post the time you will be available.
• Do It, Delegate It, or Defer It! You have only these 3 options when going thru your paperwork and emails.. Do it if it takes less than 2 miutes. Delegate it – if the action will take longer than 2 minutes ask yourself “am I the right person to do this? If the answer is no, delegate it to the appropriate person. Defer it if the action will take longer than 2 minutes, and you are the right person to do it. Schedule the time on your calendar as needed.

2. Prioritize your work or it will prioritize for you! Rather than working on projects simultaneously, take one thing at a time, focus on it, and worry about all the other projects later. Ultimately, you’ll get a lot more done and you’ll finish it more quickly. You’ll also be recognized by the high quality that you deliver when you’re free from distractions. Find a way to prioritize what works best for you. Choose either the project that has the earliest deadline or the one with the least components so you can finish it quickly and get it out of the way. There are pros and cons to both systems so tackle it whichever way works for you. Read More ›